I hate doing this.

Look, I have a Patreon page.

I do a lot of stuff. I write about games, I try to keep up in the community, all that. I mean, I don’t keep up in the community as well as I could ’cause I’m also doing school. That costs money. Luckily, I’m mostly going to school on grants.

I also have a family. Our primary expenses are food and insurance. My wife has a couple chronic conditions that I won’t name, that keep her on constant, almost predictably expensive medication. So, we need money for that stuff.

We don’t have a house, but I’m not asking for money for a house.

I don’t buy games these days, I don’t spend much on myself. The only reason I do much of anything is because I can find a way to do it for free.

Mostly, I’m in school. Doing the husband and parent thing. Writing here.

I post on my blog a lot, you may have noticed . . . I don’t know, maybe not. I do that on borrowed time. Time I should be studying, parenting . . . nothing too irresponsible, mind. But I used to post a lot more. I used to schedule posts.

I also design and develop games. I’ve done like, three this year.

If I had time, 3surgence would make it four.

It could be more. But I’m broke. Also, these games don’t really get produced because . . . well, I’m broke. Insurance costs a lot.

This site has been losing money since 2010. Basically the whole time it’s existed. I’ve tried doing free this and free that, I don’t charge for anything I make.

I don’t do things conventionally, which makes it hard for people to contribute. I get that. I also try to do things, you know . . . fairly? I don’t do sob stories. Or beg.

I try to keep things running without making a fuss.

But it’s starting to come apart. Well, it started a while ago.

I ran a Kickstarter in January 2014 and raised funds. And I botched the thing. I delivered the comic as promised, but it cost me more than I raised.

Sure, I learned from the experience, but I can’t do it again.

I don’t run ads on my site. I tried it for a while and lost traffic. I never went back, never looked back.

I don’t sell anything.

Which means that like PBS, the site keeps going from donations from readers like you. Well, except that it isn’t. Going. I appreciate the donations I receive but in spite of the help, I can’t even begin covering my costs.

I don’t . . . ask for things. That’s part of the reason I don’t get things, either. It makes sense. I figure that if my work is worth something, somebody will offer me money. But it doesn’t work that way. People are busy.

So I’m asking.

I have written close to 1.5 million words since the site opened in 2010. I just mean on the site itself — I’ve written that much between my notebooks and writing projects outside the blog. That also doesn’t count either of the comics.

At $0.01 per word, I’d bring in about $231 per month, $2,772 annually.

The site has brought in less than $60 in its lifetime.

I need the site to be bringing in at least $500 a month.

I can’t really make any promises about what will happen. I don’t know what will happen. I’ve been circling the drain for over a year and it’s hard to see anything else when you’re looking down a . . . hole.

Can I do another comic? Sure, I don’t see why not.

Can I put the old one back online? Probably.

Can I offer either of them for digital download? Probably.

Can I produce one or more of the games I’ve developed? I hope so!

All that stuff takes money, and I just don’t . . . have any. Or the time that I might offer in exchange for doing these kinds of things without money.

That’s the current state of things.