Back in 2009-2010, I significantly reduced the number of conventions I attended annually. For a time in the mid-noughties, I was going to 5-6 conventions a year. All told, I hit up about thirty conventions over the span of seven years, and it was glorious. I had never been so productive, so in tune with the world.

I realized it wasn’t a sustainable lifestyle. It cost me more money to travel to conventions than I saved by working staff, because while having one’s room covered removed a large part of the cost, there was the airline ticket still to contend with, and those were getting more expensive. I would need that provided for me as well.

And for that, I would need to be a Convention Guest.

See, I realized that doing something for which I could become a Guest of Honor would probably fulfill multiple goals simultaneously. I could have a job that I loved and a reason to crisscross the country multiple times per year, and both probably without working for someone else. You know, be “my own boss,” that kind of thing.

But I would have to cultivate some of my talent, focus it toward a goal – something I still have been less than successful in doing. Webcomic? Sure, but only for a year and a half (still working to getting back on schedule). Novel? Sure, but only for a month out of the year. *sheepish* Blogging? Well actually… that one might work.

Most of what I write is the insane ramblings of someone who wished they made games for a living. And not just any kind of game – every kind of game. Video games, roleplaying games, card games, board games – I want to be working on every kind of game at once, and I have projects of all different colors and stripes.

It’s hard not to be pessimistic of an apparent lack of forward movement. And when I have a down period, I tend to feel it for longer than it actually lasts.

The long and short of it? I need a plan.