Some pen-and-paper roleplaying game systems will allow you to write just about anything down as a character trait or advantage, regardless of how effective it may be within the context of the game. These roleplaying games are really, really stupid. If they’re point-based, everything is worth the same number of points.

“Cuteness” or “attractiveness” in settings where no one cares what you look like, you’ve wasted your character points that are needed to do x, y, or z. Big Eyes, Small Mouth is a huge offender here, and even Dungeons & Dragons in most of its various editions can be a real pain in this regard.

“So, you built your character for hunting and destroying undead? Too bad there are no undead in this setting! Your cleric and paladin powers are useless!” Third Edition rangers can fall prey to this with their selective “favored enemy” class feature. So, why do I bring this up? Why is any of this important? Is this a post about game balance?

No. It’s because my player wrote “speedy recovery from oral surgery” on my character sheet. I don’t have any cool super powers, no. I get my wisdom teeth pulled and I’m affected by the painkillers more than the pain. I go through the early stages of a root canal and a couple ibuprofen later, I’m fine. I wanted invisibility, gosh dang it.

If I ever meet my player, I’m going to punch them in the mouth.