The day was spent writing blogs and emails. I wonder how it is I managed to get through the month doing both and NaNoWriMo: probably a marvel of creative energy — and determination. Something I want to see if I can tap again in the future. Something about new projects always generates a burst of energy. It flares for a few days, even a week. Maybe with clear-cut goals, it can be predicted and focused.

Practical. Methodical. Creative. Imaginative. Smart. Wise. Nice. Kind. Good. Words of others (plus one of mine, can you guess which?) used to describe me. I seem to have gotten through life so far living on one piece of recognition or praise at a time. I savor them and store them away for later, because they seem to be so sparse. Genuine recognition, I mean … to be recognized for a personal achievement … it’s one of my big motivators.

I want to be recognized. I feel like I have so much, so much to share. Whether it be by blog, webcomic, novel, game, … I want to do things, cool things, and I want to be recognized by others. Yesterday morning, there was this weird, sinking sensation I- I’m not sure where it came from, or how I got there. There was a distinct downward pull, and I felt a “lightening” feeling as the day moved into the afternoon. It might’ve been an “unburdening.”

It’s day twenty-seven of NaNo, and by now I’m scarcely mentioning the novel. It’s okay, though, because I don’t forget about it. The project and its goal are behind me, and this is the ongoing saga of November. It’s the ongoing adventure of my November writing — life and stuff. Withdrawal, perhaps? Maybe I have some NaNo-related PTSD.