I mentioned our group hit 6th level after some shenanigans.

Well, we hit 7th level last week.

And again, there were shenanigans involved. As there always should be. But first! you need to know how last week went down. See, that “in case of emergency” note in Dwarven that our Rogue couldn’t read?

Yeah. It was . . . important.

Once we strayed far enough from the dungeon, the library automagically sent an iron golem after us to retrieve the magic items. I don’t remember where we were going . . . there was this bridge, maybe the lodge. . . ?

And then there was an iron golem.

In 5e, an iron golem is a CR-16. Our party was level 6.

My plan, as the party’s Wizard, was to Enlarge our Fighter, have him push the iron golem off the bridge into the deep canal (it was like, 60 feet), and then freeze the water with my shiny new staff of frost. It was the best I could do.

I hadn’t counted on the Fighter fast-talking the iron golem into halting its attack long enough for the Fighter to retrieve his “credentials” for taking the items.

That was uh, that was a shock.

So, the Fighter, the Druid, and I returned to the dungeon with the iron golem hovering over us (figuratively, not literally), while the rest of the party ran up ahead of us to work on a plan to help us fight the golem.

They met with . . . mixed success.

In the library, our Cleric and Ranger were able to find a “temporary kill code” (more like a “pause” button) for the iron golem. Our group figured we could destroy the golem with those explosives we found, or bury it in rubble.

Our Fighter came up with a ploy to delay the golem, and I “radioed ahead” with the crystal ball of telepathy to explain the next phase of our plan.

We were able to buy an extra hour.

When we finally led the iron golem into a room full of explosives, our Cleric used the “kill code” and the golem shut down . . . then disappeared in a puff of magic. Shutting it down with the kill code apparently teleported it away.

Given that I had just spent an hour in its company, I used the crystal ball to try and determine its location. We tried to locate the golem in its secret passage by making noise loud enough the crystal ball would pick it up down the hall.

This all meant exploring the fourth and final corner of the dungeon.

We uh, well, the first passageway led to a bunch of traps. We decided to go around. The second passage led us to a room full of gnome cannibals. We were surprised, but not in that way you’d usually surprised by cannibals.

No, it was the first time our GM decided to use the standardized 5e stats I developed — a table that represents NPCs from 1st level to 20th. But the cannibals won initiative . . . and almost killed our Fighter.

Uh, there’s this running joke that our Fighter is invincible.

Yeah, I kind of figured that between the surprise round and our group’s relative uh, I’m not sure how to put it. I really didn’t think we were prepared to face a group of NPCs. Not without more experience fighting groups.

My Wizard stepped forward and used Wall of Ice to separate the cannibals from our group. They nearly battered it down before my next turn, at which point I dismissed the wall and filled the room with Cone of Cold.

If even one of them had saved against my spell, I would have died.

Not even joking.

I rolled pretty average damage on Cone of Cold and was lucky enough that none of the cannibals saved against the spell. At least a third of the eight-or-so cannibals should have saved. I got . . . really lucky.

Moving forward, we located the secret passage containing the golem and managed to batter it down before it got to take more than a turn or two. I don’t recall if it landed any attacks. But we all survived.

And leveled.

It had taken us all night to hunt the thing down and dispatch it. We got really lucky a bunch of times, dice rolls being what they are. Phew.