Cookiemonger wrote a fantasy novel last year, and nobody bought it. I should know, I didn’t buy it either. But! I had an excuse. I read it while she was writing it, gave her my opinion and such. But you don’t have that excuse.

Here’s a chance to redeem yourself.

If you happen to enjoy contemporary-ish fantasy, urban fantasy, or whatever you want to call it, and you happen to possess an ebook reader, then you can mosey over to Amazon and pick up a copy. I’ve done the work of providing a URL.

Now here’s a short excerpt from Smashwords:

A brown, lopsided lump on the ground indicated where the young man had ended up and what he had done. He peaked out from beneath his cloak, wincing through his new bruises and cuts. “That was not supposed to hurt me,” he growled. “Look what you did.”

Don’t you think that was funny? I think she’s very clever, and you should think so too. It honestly baffles me that no one bought the book. Maybe you were waiting for the opportune moment? Well, you missed it. The opportune moment would have been when the book came out, and now you’re late. Just late.

Maybe not just late. You still have a chance to buy the book and read it before everyone else does, and then you can feel really smart whenever it comes up in conversation because you’ll have read it. You might even go so far as to bring it up yourself, just to show everyone in the room how smart you are.

Here’s another excerpt from Smashwords:

“Indeed,” boomed Mr Chelsey. He pointed his voice at Topher, who jerked upright. “You are aware of the protocols for retrieved personnel upon return to your block.”

Eyes drifting towards her handler, Ghislaine was forced to admit that she did not. The upper echelons of the company had always baffled her, and they had never really seemed important anyway. As she watched the gathered robes discussing in incoherent overlapping conversations, Bea’s words over the intercom floated back to haunt her.

Before she could recall the incident and defend her actions, one of the robed women, who carried it off rather better than Topher could ever hope to, spoke. “Now is a perfect time to explain them to you. Mysticism is an appropriate medium for exposition.”

“It’s a bloody ungainly one as well.”

Did you know you can read like, ten percent of the book on Smashwords? That’s almost like reading it in the bookstore. It’s technically legal but it feels kind of like stealing. You could go do that. You could also buy the book, then read the first ten percent guilt-free, and then read the rest of the book as you should have done.