“Elevator Down”
September 2005

Here I am, please come with me
Don’t mind my self-destructive
Tendencies
I don’t have hope/ Beyond this moment
So come with me
I don’t need your weeping or worries
I know I don’t know where I’m going
But I don’t think you know either

Don’t try to push an order on me
I’ll do things my own way
I’ll get through it like I always do
I have better ideas for you

Don’t go away
Don’t be afraid
You don’t have to expect
Any more from me
I’ll be gone when you get back
If I tell you what you want to hear
Will it help you to sleep better?

There are two poems here, there’s the poem that’s “Don’t mind my self-destructive/ Tendencies,” and then there’s everything after that. I can tell, just glancing over it, that I had a cool idea for this one line, which I wrote around, but what came out after it was almost a completely different thought.

I don’t have the original anywhere accessible, but it’s possible the rest of the poem was written around a note that I’d left myself with the “don’t mind my self-destructive tendencies” line. I mean, it still sounds cool to me (kind of, at least), but it really needs to be sorted out, made into separate poems.

The title, I even came up with a week or more after I wrote the poem. That should tell you something. The title itself might be a different poem, I don’t know.