I’d love to share more of the quotes from my Saturday D&D game, but I feel that most of them require some amount of explanation and aren’t funny in and of themselves. It could be that I’m analyzing them too much, or maybe I just don’t find them as funny as all that. One of the funnier ones that I’d like to pass on, though, is a nice, simple one:

Wailing: “Master, why?”

Our sorcerer has a familiar — you have to take a feat now to gain a familiar in Fourth Edition D&D. Anyway, there are a lot of things he likes to use his familiar for, not the least of which is scouting ahead, picking locks, and disabling traps. Some time back, three of us — the rogue, the sorcerer, and my wizard — were going about cracking an incredibly stubborn treasure chest open. (For obvious reasons — to see what was inside!)

When the familiar inevitably triggered a trap, she was transported instantly to the Shadowfell, where she stayed until the sorcerer was able to rest and summon her again. The DM might’ve started to tell us what she saw when she was there, when I cut in with a hastily-described series of horrific events. Of course, since the poor thing is merely an appendage of the character — she must be loyal, no matter the trials she’s put through.

I assigned her a Dobby-like persona, dogged in her attempts to please her master, until her tiny, fragile mind was finally shattered by her experiences, so that she can only wail “Master, why?” whenever she’s sent off to do another task that will undoubtedly cause her to die once again. Only to be summoned to do it again. And again. AND AGAIN.