I have a couple pieces of recognition that I carry with me everywhere I go. They’re very important to me, and they’re a handful of snippets that I try to remind myself of whenever I’ve lost my way or I’ve forgotten who I am. They’re a part of me, now, an important part that I’ll fight to keep, and I’ll fight anyone who tries to take them away from me.

I find myself angry almost all the time, at most of the world, and most of the people and things in it, and it takes a great deal of energy to contain my anger; to disperse, redirect it, channel it, or convert it into another thing. I am highly critical of everyone and everything, including myself, and I’m easily “betrayed” by things that I like or enjoy.

I’m not sure how I’d describe my range of emotions. I found this cool chart some years ago, and while I wouldn’t support it 100%, it gives me something to consider, to think about. If I had to swear by it, though, I imagine I’d be on the left most of the time.

I think the emotions I feel most strongly are anger and loathing. I think I spend more time bored and annoyed than anything else. I don’t like to be surprised by things, I don’t like to be afraid of things, and I think for the most part, rather than “avoiding” those emotions, I reroute them or something.

Since I was a kid, I’ve had a hell of a temper. It’s taken years of pain and grief to train myself that there are other things I can do with my anger than lash out at people. If I used to have a Hair Trigger Temper, I think now I only have a Berserk Button. And from there, I hope to develop a slow-burning fuse. :P